Are you being a “theater mom”?
When I was doing the acting thing in LA, I met a lot of parents whose kids were actors.
There were parents who were supportive of their kids’ acting, but also let go of the need for their children to perform a certain way or book roles.
Then, there were the “theater moms” (or dads), who were all up in their kids' business and took their acting results and career on as their own. It’s like whatever their kids were doing meant something about them as a parent.
Often, it seemed like they were living their dream through their kids...or like they NEEDED their kid to do well to be able to prove something to other people (or themselves).
The pressure was visible.
And, hey, I’m not here to judge or give parenting advice (my hats off to all the parents doing their best), but the difference between the two styles was clear.
In the first, it seemed more about the kids and was more detached. With the “theater moms” it really didn’t have much to do with the kid at all, there was lots of pressure, and there was lots of attachment to the outcome.
Both styles cared about their kids, but the detached style created a safe container for kids to go out, act, and flop. Those kids knew they were OK even if they didn’t book a part, could pick themselves up, and go out and perform again. This gave kids the tools and the resources to succeed on their own.
“Theater moms” piled on so much pressure to perform and book parts, the results were so much harder for the kid to get because they had so much fear of failure coming up. Those kids didn’t have the support or space to be messy (which is often the path to big results in any industry).
“Theater moms” also stepped in, interfered, and took as much of their kids’ stuff on as they could (in hopes to control the outcome), but this robbed kids of the chance to figure it out and learn for themselves.
Why am I telling you this? Because it’s easy to become a “theater mom” in your business and unintentionally sabotage client results, and in turn, your own business results.
Being a “theater mom” in business looks like caring, yes, AND taking on client results as your own because you NEED them to feel good about yourself and your work.
The magic (and better results on both the client and business owner side!!) happens when you drop the need for clients’ to get a certain outcome for your own ego, and instead, focus on the container and support your people without carrying the full load and taking it on yourself.
This allows you to show up, care, AND be able to support from a detached place that empowers your clients to raise their standard, feel safe enough to take messy action, and have enough space to ‘fail forward’...which ultimately leads to epic transformations, learning new skills and tools, and lasting, long-term results.
Wishing you your version of success.
