"Identity is this incredible invisible force that controls your whole life. It's invisible like gravity is invisible, but it controls your whole life." -Tony Robbins
Welcome to Week Two of our Mindset Makeover!
Last week we started with some Mindset 101.
Congrats on taking the first step to making over your mindset. The first step to creating change is always awareness. It’s pretty hard to shift what we aren’t aware of!
How was listening to your thoughts for a week? Did anything surprise you?
Today, I want to take that awareness a step further. This is where the fun really starts because we can purposely begin to change our mindset and ultimately our lives.
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One of the biggest mindset blocks I've seen with myself and my clients is holding onto an old identity or an identity that doesn’t serve us.
What do I mean when I say identity?
Our identity is essentially a mindset for how we see ourselves, and studies show that our behavior is congruent with our identity. Meaning, our mind will do everything in its power to have our exterior circumstances match the identity we hold of ourselves.
When I moved from LA to NY, I packed my LA identity up with me and took it along. My identity in LA wasn’t bad, but it wasn't great either. It wasn’t strong or making me happy. I had an identity that no longer served me.
NYC is an amazing city, but it’s also a demanding city. And New York City told me, I better upgrade my identity and with it, the actions I was taking, or move back home.
Anytime we open a new chapter in our lives like moving, parenthood, getting married or divorced, changing our health and fitness routine, beginning a creative endeavor, starting a business, or accepting a new role in our career...life demands we evaluate our identity.
Often our old identity won't serve us in a new space and this can be super uncomfortable.
I know when I started my business I had to uplevel my identity. My old identity wasn’t going to cut it and would have held me back, but this doesn't mean I didn't cling to my old identity like a little kid clings to her blankie.
We are constantly approaching new challenges and opportunities in our life that require us to shed our outdated, ill-fitting identities. While a new identity and the mindset that comes along with it can open us up to new possibilities, it can be really tough to say goodbye to the identity we’ve gotten comfy in, and well, identify ourselves as.
It’s kinda like when spring cleaning time comes around, and you just can’t fathom getting rid of your favorite, old, cozy sweater even though it’s tattered, threadbare, and doesn’t fit anymore (...and makes you look like you’re one step away from becoming homeless).
Our identities are the same way.
We cling to them because they’re comfortable. They've become a part of us. They’re how we know ourselves and show up in the world. Possibly even more distressing, they’re how the world knows us and expects us to show up.
But as the saying goes, old ways won't open new doors.
We can't expect an entirely different version of our life to manifest itself using the same mindset and identity that has kept us where we are.
Often we’re either unhappy because we’ve found ourselves in a situation we don’t identify with, or we have an identity we need to shed as we transition into a new phase of our life. We will sabotage the hell out of our experience or we won’t create the success we desire if we aren't aware of what's going on because we won’t have an identity that supports it.
This sabotage can show up anywhere…think relationships, weight loss, career, business, career, friendships, finances, parenting, you name it.
A great example of this is what we see with lottery winners. Did you know about 70 percent of people who win a lottery or get a big windfall actually end up broke in a few years? 70 percent!
You might be thinking, “Not me! I would handle winning some money just fine. Thankyouverymuch.”
But, think about it: here you get this huge landslide win of money. Hooray, all your problems are solved! Except, your mindset is still fixed in your previous identity. The same identity that kept you at a particular income level that was consistent with how you saw yourself.
If you have a “broke” identity, or a “bad with money” identity, even if you win the lottery, if you don’t upgrade your identity along with the win, you’ll eventually work your way right back to the situation that matches your identity.
Whereas, there are a ton of broke people, with different beliefs and a “rich” identity, and they end up changing their circumstances.
We see this all the time with awesome success stories of people who have pulled through poverty. There’s a lot that goes into that of course, but I promise you, they had an identity that served them.
Your identity creates the boundaries you give yourself for how you’re allowed to be in life.
We have to be careful of the labels we give ourselves because those labels become a part of our identity and we’ll end up acting accordingly.
We also teach others who we are through our identity and lead them to believe that’s who we are, so they expect and our identity.
Mindset Makeover Week Two is all about getting clear on your identity. This will create a deeper awareness around this mindset.
Getting rid of an old identity or identity that no longer serve us is a huge mindset shift. We also change our actions to match and reinforce our new identity.
Change your identity, and you can change your life.
Mindset Makeover Week Two Action Step:
Answer these questions:
- Who are you? How do you define yourself?
How is your identity affecting your current reality?
Who would have to be (what identity) to create the life you want? Get as specific as you can.
What is one small action you can take to put this identity shift into play?
Next week, I’ll be back with Week Three of our Mindset Makeover. You’ll also be the first to hear about a new course I’ve been working on behind the scenes that dives into all of this much deeper! I can't wait to share it with you!
Wishing you your version of success!
P.S. I'd love to hear from you! Let me know in the comments below, what was your biggest takeaway and why.
P.P.S. Know someone else who might like a Mindset Makeover? Share this blog with them!