“If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” - Dale Carnegie
Earlier this week, I had the honor of being a speaker on a panel with some amazing women.
We talked about issues like gender equality, #metoo, self-worth, entrepreneurialism, and overcoming challenges.
There were so many topics that came up that I thought would be perfect to share with you today. My mind was buzzing with ideas.
Then I sat down to write, and I thought what you might appreciate a little more is some real talk. The truth is, I wanted to dazzle you with tales of my experience. Because it WAS a wonderful experience, and I was buzzing afterward.
Leading up to it, though? I was a bundle of nerves.
Stomach knots. Comparisonitis. Insecurity. Dry mouth.
All the inner demons wanted to come out to play. It was if I was hosting a free cocktail hour for underage kids in my brain. It was loud, unruly, and messy.
Before the event, I had looked up the women I would be speaking with and psyched myself out.
We weren’t talking about one of my go-to topics, and I was convinced I’d go blank or have nothing of value to share.
When I got to the event space, my heart dropped into my gut because there were so many people there.
I had to pee twice from nerves. I was sweating. My hands were shaking.
Right before we started the talk, I went to the bathroom one last time. This time to coach myself. I gave myself a 30-second pep talk. I grounded and visualized.
Then it was go time.
I can’t tell you if the audience loved my words or hated them. But I can tell you that I found my words. I had a voice, and it was strong.
When we finished, the woman sitting next to me turned and said, “You’re a powerhouse.” That was enough for me.
We tend to think we’re the only ones who get nervous or want to run and call it quits right before we’re about to take a leap, do something new, or put ourselves out there, but that couldn't be further from the truth.
Fear is a normal human emotion. It’s part of the human experience. And I hate to break it you, it’s not going anywhere.
We get bombarded with so many messages of positivity, that I think we forget how normal and necessary fear is.
We wouldn’t have evolved as a species and be alive today if we didn’t have fear. But because the discomfort of fear can be so downright puke-ish, we tend to do everything we can to avoid it and stay in our safe bubble.
I posted a photo of myself on Instagram after the event, and I’m smiling. Others caught pictures of me laughing out loud.
That’s the joke about fear, once we do the thing we’re scared of, we’re like little kids the first time after they jump into the deep end of the pool - laughing, grinning, and getting up to do it again. Sometimes we even go for the cannonball when seconds before we were petrified of the deep end.
Fear rarely tells us the truth, but it is our beacon towards growth.
When we face our fear, when we feel it and take action anyway, we come out the other side stronger. No one can take that away from us.
Whether it’s a business we love, an artistic endeavor, a passion project, moving to a new city, opening ourselves up to love, or putting ourselves out there in a new way, there’s a good chance that the things we really and truly want are on the other side of fear.
I feel fear all the time, but I know now, that it’s almost always my mind’s way of telling me something is worth wanting. Fear lets us know there’s something at stake.
Fear wakes us up. It reminds us we care and it signals our brain to step it up a notch.
The other thing worth noting? At the core of every issue we spoke about on that panel was fear.
Fear is a powerful motivator. When we allow fear to fester and manipulate us, we stagnate, we turn inward, we become cowards, and sometimes we turn to hate.
When we face our fear and move through it, we grow.
Today, I wanted to remind you how normal and human fear is. It’s easy to glance through the looking glass and think no one else ever feels it. It's easy to look at someone else's end result and smiling photo and assume there was no fear.
When we normalize fear it has less power over us. We can use it as a compass that will show us where to go next instead of allowing it to bully and push us down.
Once we're on the other side, fear loses its grip. It becomes so weak, it’s as if it never even existed, and we find ourselves smiling forgetting it wasn’t always this way.
I want to invite you to “feel the fear and do it anyway”. Embrace challenges and all the uncomfortable emotions that can come along with them. Jump into the deep end.
Wishing you your version of success,
P.S. I'm hosting a FREE 5-Day Business Bootcamp Challenge, and you're invited! We start on Monday. Click here to learn more and sign up for free!