I stepped in for my ‘bonus mom’ role during a business day last week.
(Mad respect to all my parents btw, always, but especially right now.)
My ‘bonus son’ (step son) has been having a hard time getting motivated to sit down and do his online school work. It’s been feeling especially challenging. Pretty sure he’s not the only one feeling this way.
We ended up having a co-working session over FaceTime for a few hours, and there were two business lessons that jumped out to me.
Being able to separate out thoughts and what you make circumstances and feelings mean is game-changing.
For example, tech can make things FEEL more complicated and harder than they are. And, it’s easy to make those frustrated feelings about tech mean something about everything else, like school or business.
In our case, we had to sort through a few tech hurdles to get started with online school work. These are all things my bonus son didn’t have to navigate before Corona to get his homework done and submitted.
There was a moment when the frustration from the tech was getting collapsed into his thoughts and feelings about his ability to learn, do his work, and even his thoughts about school in general.
The same thing happens in business all the dang time as well. Who hasn’t wanted to throw their laptop at the wall when setting up their email list or making a website for the first time? And, who hasn’t then taken that tech frustration and painted it over their entire business?
It’s easy to displace those thoughts and frustrations and dump them into your thoughts and feelings about your business and zone of genius - when they’re *actually* separate things. You know, just like my bonus son’s ability to work Google Drive (and his thoughts and feelings about this) is separate from his ability to learn social studies.
We do this all over the place in business (and life), it’s not only with tech. And, this sort of generalization holds us back.
This is where managing your mind becomes essential for managing your business (or online school). The magic comes from being able to create separation between situations and thoughts instead of generalizing your thoughts and feelings about one thing to mean something about your ENTIRE business. For example, having a hard time setting up an email sequence doesn’t mean your entire business is hard and doomed.
When we were able to think about the tech separately from school work, my bonus son stopped feeling frustrated with what he was learning. And, like magic, he got way more quality work done and actually enjoyed it. I promise, the same principle applies in business.
Journaling questionS: Do you have any examples of thoughts about frustrating situations you’ve generalized to mean something negative about your entire business? How would things look differently (and how would you show up differently) if you were able to separate out your thoughts?
Coaching allows you to stretch further than you would on your own, see past your current thinking, and helps you come up with new ideas.
Understandably, my bonus son was feeling pretty unmotivated, a little stuck, and had zero desire to do any of his extra ‘optional’ assignments.
But, because we sat on the phone together and he had support, he was able to get out of his own way (aka playing video games), get way more done than he would have on his own, and go deeper into his homework.
Having me sit there with him gave him the accountability to show up for himself and his school work, just like having a coach holds you accountable to showing up for what you say is important to you (even when you’d rather Netflix and chill).
Instead of half-assing his homework, so he could check it off his list, I was able to ask him questions to help him look a little deeper, stretch his thinking, come up with more interesting responses. This is *exactly* how coaching stretches you to go further than you would on your own, allows you to see past your current thinking, and helps you to come up with new ideas.
When it came to the ‘optional’ homework the kids had been assigned, my bonus son didn’t want to do anything...ya know, because they’re optional. But, I was there to challenge him. Not only did he end up loving the exercise he picked, I just heard from his mom he’s been sticking with the ‘optional’ homework and got really inventive this week with it.
That’s the power of 1:1 support and coaching - and why teachers and school will never be fully replaced by online modules. It challenges you to go further than you would by default. It stretches you to do the uncomfortable thing. It helps you see past your current thinking and ideate. It helps you step into the next level.
Journaling questionS: Do you have any examples outside of business where coaching or 1:1 support has helped you get past your own hurdles and go further than you would have on your own? What was possible for you as a result?
To all my parents, you’re your kids’ first coach and you get so much respect from me always, and especially right now.
Whether you’re a parent or not, wishing you your version of success!
P.S. Ready to invest in coaching to help you stretch further than you would on your own, see past your current thinking, and helps you come up with new ideas so you can build, grow and scale a profitable business you’re wildly in love with? Let’s talk!