Thank God I Wore Deodorant
Kim Argetsinger mindset business coach
“If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” - Dale Carnegie

Earlier this week, I had the honor of being a speaker on a panel with some amazing women.

We talked about issues like gender equality, #metoo, self-worth, entrepreneurialism, and overcoming challenges. 

There were so many topics that came up that I thought would be perfect to share with you today. My mind was buzzing with ideas. 

Then I sat down to write, and I thought what you might appreciate a little more is some real talk. The truth is, I wanted to dazzle you with tales of my experience. Because it WAS a wonderful experience, and I was buzzing afterward.

Leading up to it, though? I was a bundle of nerves. 

Stomach knots. Comparisonitis. Insecurity. Dry mouth. 

All the inner demons wanted to come out to play. It was if I was hosting a free cocktail hour for underage kids in my brain. It was loud, unruly, and messy.

Before the event, I had looked up the women I would be speaking with and psyched myself out.

We weren’t talking about one of my go-to topics, and I was convinced I’d go blank or have nothing of value to share. 

When I got to the event space, my heart dropped into my gut because there were so many people there. 

I had to pee twice from nerves. I was sweating. My hands were shaking. 

Right before we started the talk, I went to the bathroom one last time. This time to coach myself. I gave myself a 30-second pep talk. I grounded and visualized. 

Then it was go time.

I can’t tell you if the audience loved my words or hated them. But I can tell you that I found my words. I had a voice, and it was strong. 

When we finished, the woman sitting next to me turned and said, “You’re a powerhouse.” That was enough for me. 

We tend to think we’re the only ones who get nervous or want to run and call it quits right before we’re about to take a leap, do something new, or put ourselves out there, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

Fear is a normal human emotion. It’s part of the human experience. And I hate to break it you, it’s not going anywhere. 

We get bombarded with so many messages of positivity, that I think we forget how normal and necessary fear is. 

We wouldn’t have evolved as a species and be alive today if we didn’t have fear. But because the discomfort of fear can be so downright puke-ish, we tend to do everything we can to avoid it and stay in our safe bubble.

I posted a photo of myself on Instagram after the event, and I’m smiling. Others caught pictures of me laughing out loud.

That’s the joke about fear, once we do the thing we’re scared of, we’re like little kids the first time after they jump into the deep end of the pool - laughing, grinning, and getting up to do it again. Sometimes we even go for the cannonball when seconds before we were petrified of the deep end. 

Fear rarely tells us the truth, but it is our beacon towards growth. 

When we face our fear, when we feel it and take action anyway, we come out the other side stronger. No one can take that away from us.

Whether it’s a business we love, an artistic endeavor, a passion project, moving to a new city, opening ourselves up to love, or putting ourselves out there in a new way, there’s a good chance that the things we really and truly want are on the other side of fear. 

I feel fear all the time, but I know now, that it’s almost always my mind’s way of telling me something is worth wanting. Fear lets us know there’s something at stake.

Fear wakes us up. It reminds us we care and it signals our brain to step it up a notch. 

The other thing worth noting? At the core of every issue we spoke about on that panel was fear. 

Fear is a powerful motivator. When we allow fear to fester and manipulate us, we stagnate, we turn inward, we become cowards, and sometimes we turn to hate. 

When we face our fear and move through it, we grow. 

Today, I wanted to remind you how normal and human fear is. It’s easy to glance through the looking glass and think no one else ever feels it. It's easy to look at someone else's end result and smiling photo and assume there was no fear. 

When we normalize fear it has less power over us. We can use it as a compass that will show us where to go next instead of allowing it to bully and push us down.

Once we're on the other side, fear loses its grip. It becomes so weak, it’s as if it never even existed, and we find ourselves smiling forgetting it wasn’t always this way.

I want to invite you to “feel the fear and do it anyway”. Embrace challenges and all the uncomfortable emotions that can come along with them. Jump into the deep end.

Wishing you your version of success,

Kim Argetsinger mindset business coach

P.S. I'm hosting a FREE 5-Day Business Bootcamp Challenge, and you're invited! We start on Monday. Click here to learn more and sign up for free!

Quitting Your Way to Success
quit your way to sucess
“Winners quit all the time. They just quit the right stuff at the right time.” -Seth Godin

About a year ago, I called it quits on a program I had put out into the world, and it’s one of the better business decisions I’ve made.

I remember having all sorts of angst around the thought of quitting and what I made that mean. “Winners never quit and quitters never win” and all that. 

I got advice from others about the importance of staying the course. I was reminded of the time and effort I had put in. 

But the program was sucking me dry and draining one of my most valuable resources, my time. It was making me want to rip up my business, and it wasn’t giving me a return that made sense. 

I’m all for a little grit and playing the long game, but sometimes quitting what isn’t working IS progress towards what we ultimately want. 

Sometimes quitting is the best business and life decision we can make.

(Rather watch and listen? Join me in a Facebook Live video below!)

 

 

Instead of moving us further away from our ultimate goal, a thoughtful, strategic, “I quit” can move us closer to where we want to be. Sometimes staying the course isn’t grit, sometimes it’s fear, treading water, and staying stuck. 

When we remove the guilt and give ourselves permission to quit the things that aren’t working, we encourage bold action, we bolster growth, and we stimulate change and new ideas.

But, it can be hard to let go. Society hammers into our head the virtues of sticking with things. Being a “quitter” is a dirty word and synonymous with a lousy work ethic and morale.

When we have a goal and move towards it, we employ different strategies. Some work. Some don’t. Sometimes, the strategy we choose isn’t the best option. Sometimes it isn’t well thought out, other times we become aware of new information around the bend.

When we quit a strategy that isn’t serving us in honor of our greater goal, we’re not quitting our goal, we’re pivoting our approach.

This happens all the time. 

We have the desire to be in a relationship, but our strategy, er partner, turns out to be a mismatch. We may quit the relationship, but that doesn’t mean we abandon our goal for a healthy, loving relationship. Quitting becomes the action that moves us closer to what we want. 

We want a career we love and end up in a job and find it makes us want to scream at the walls. When we quit the job and take another one, we quit our strategy, not the end-goal.

There’s a big difference between running and hiding out of fear and quitting methods that don’t serve us.

Quitting because something is hard, abandoning our promises, or bailing because we’re scared is NOT what I’m talking about here. So, let’s not get this twisted and start eschewing the responsibilities we just don’t like. 

What I am talking about is getting clear on what we’re investing our time, energy, and resources in. When quitting stems from fear, resistance, or avoidance there’s a good chance a little grit is what’s really needed. When it’s fear or avoidance that’s causing us to resist quitting, suddenly we have a different case on our hands.

Take the program I mentioned, the rules of life told me to stick it out. But, that wasn’t an effective strategy for my bigger business goals (or life satisfaction)...Quitting can, in fact, be a very valuable asset in our toolbox.

But, our brain, oh our brain, can be stubborn.

When we make a decision, our brain doesn’t like to be wrong and will rationalize the decision by finding evidence to support the choice we’ve made.

We also tend to place more importance on things we’ve sunken costs like money, time, or energy into even when these are resources we can’t get back by hanging in longer. 

This is why we’ll often keep eating food we’ve spent money on even when we’re stuffed or keep clothes for years even though we've never worn them. 

Our brain can get into some illogical thinking and begin to defend decisions that logically aren’t serving us. 

Our brain figures, we’ve spent all these “costs" and we need to make the most out of them. Even when getting the most out of them means a negative return. Meanwhile, we continue to invest more resources, which only adds fuel to the fire AND our brain is working hard to support our decision and protect our ego.

This is when sticking things out isn’t perseverance, it’s staying stuck.

Investing more into a sinking ship doesn’t retroactively bring back the previous resources we’ve spent, it only adds weight to the boat that’s going down.

We like to think we’re rational. We like to think we make business decisions purely based on facts. But, the truth is, our brains can be illogical and irrational; our thoughts can lie to us. 

Sometimes quitting is the best business decision we can make. In some cases, quitting is the fastest way forward. 

I wonder, what do you need to give yourself permission to quit? How might you be able to move closer to your bigger goals by quitting something that isn’t serving you?

Wishing you your version of success,

Kim Argetsinger business coach
No One Cares What Your Ideal Client Had For Breakfast
ideal client avatar
"Your customer doesn't care how much you know until they know how much you care." - Damon Richards

Back in my acting days, I had this awesome acting coach who always kept it real and cut the fluff.

Whenever we were working on a new script and character, he would remind us, “I don't care what your character had for breakfast and neither do they.” ‘They’ referred to the casting directors who would hire us (or not) and our audience. 

‘They’ cared that we understood the character and the scene and brought it to life. That’s what ‘they’ wanted. Nothing more. Nothing less.

It’s an acting strategy to dive deep into your character and flesh out their personality down to things like what they eat. It’s fun and it feels so good. You build an entire world for this person and live in it. 

Sometimes, though, all this character work can result in some really weird and misaligned choices. Suddenly a simple scene in an office between co-workers is filled with the dramatic flair of an accent, the not-so-subtle hint of anger, or a strange behavioral tick. 

All the back-story work can make actors lose the point. They’ll have the childhood traumas and their character's favorite hobbies down but miss what’s going on in the scene - what the character needs and wants right then and there. 

I gotta say, that’s what a lot of us do in our businesses when it comes to identifying our ideal clients and audience. We concoct elaborate details but miss the essentials. We focus on stats and demographics instead of psychographics. 

We fill out worksheets. And cheat sheets.

We give our avatar a name but forget to make it human.

We get intimate with the little details in our avatar’s life. They love blue, hate pink, love coffee, don't eat gluten, have a dog, and hike on the weekend. It reads like a movie-version, online-dating profile.

We treat our ideal client avatar just like an acting part, and instead of getting clear on what’s going on in the scene, what's going on with our ideal client, we get creative and make up an entire world.

While we’re getting tripped up in the details, we miss the bigger picture - WHO it is we’re serving.

(Rather watch and listen? Join me below in a Facebook Live!)

 

 

I’m going to channel my old acting coach and say, “No one cares what your ideal client had for breakfast.”

Unless you’re a nutritional coach or helping them lose weight, these are the details that can cause us to miss the whole point and create a dramatic scene.

Sure, if it helps you flesh out who you're talking to, there's nothing intrinsically wrong with any of this. The problem is, many of us get wrapped up in the surface details and never dig any deeper. We stop short of getting to know who our clients really are.

And, I promise you, they care a whole lot more that you understand their struggles than they care about your psychic ability to know their favorite post-workout snack or after-work tv show.

Our clients want to know we get them and can help them. They want their problems solved and their desires met. 

Getting clear on our ideal client is about getting to know who they are as a person. It’s about building a relationship and intimately understanding them.

Let’s stop the “overacting” and "performing" and instead, really get to know our ideal clients and pay attention to what it is they want and need. 

Let’s drill into the specifics of what matters: knowing what makes them tick and what ticks them off. Knowing what they’re craving and what they wish they could get rid of. Knowing where they feel stuck and what they wish they could change. 

When we get to know our ideal clients on a deep level it changes everything, and they won’t care if you know what they had for breakfast.

Wishing you your version of success,

Kim Argetsinger business coach

P.S. I'll be going live inside my Free Facebook Group, Business Besties + Creative Bosses to talk more about our ideal clients and to answer any questions. Click here to join the group (it's free!).

P.P.S. Are you going to be in NYC Feb. 13? If so, I'd love to have you join me and some amazing women for a Nasty Galentine's Celebration! I'm honored to be one of the speakers and all proceeds will support the nonprofit She's The First. Click here for details + tickets!

Freaking Out About Facebook?
facebook freakout

"The only thing that makes life unfair is the delusion that it should be fair." -Dr. Steve Maraboli

If you run a business, are starting a business, or are generally involved in networking, promoting, marketing anything, social media is most likely a part of your life.

I’ve talked before about our attitude towards social media

Recently, I had to take some of my own medicine and give myself a huge social media attitude adjustment and refocus on some of my core business beliefs. 

A few months ago, I had my Facebook ads account shut down. I had blindly hit the ‘boost’ button on a post and spent a few bucks to test out a market. There are all sorts of ‘no-nos’ within this statement that we can save for another time, but the end result was the deactivation of my account.

Twenty plus messages to Facebook later only resulted in twenty plus bot responses. 

At this point, I don't invest very much in advertising to run my business, but I’d like the option. I very much believe in the power of ads to help us grow and scale. Needless to say, I wasn’t thrilled about this.

Then, Mark Zuckerberg made his announcement about the changes to Facebook. (If this makes you go, "Huh?", you can catch it here.)

Since I’d already resigned my false sense of control with the ads, the news didn’t bother me as much as it might have, but I’ve definitely heard the freakouts from others.

I’ve had a little time to sit with this…I can’t predict Zuckerberg’s moves or exactly what the algorithm will do next, I’m by no means a Facebook ‘expert’, but I do think there are some interesting ‘silver linings’ and lessons in all of this.

These have helped me flip my perspective and remember that social media is simply a tool. A mostly free tool that allows many of us to grow our businesses and share our work in ways that were never possible before.

Like anything, it’s how we use this tool and our perspective that makes it ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

Facebook Freakout Lessons + Reminders 

Rather watch + listen?  Join me below in a Facebook Live! (So meta)

 

 

1. Double down on list building.

We don’t own our accounts on Facebook or any social media platform. I know most of us have heard this over and over again, but between my ads account being shut down and the algorithm switch, it was a giant, flashing neon sign reminding me that I don’t own my social media accounts. 

We do ‘own’ our email lists and our websites.

As much as we might pitch a fit and get pissed about declining organic reach, we can’t control what the Social Media Gods decide to do any more than we can control the weather. It just is what it is.

What we can control is how we manage and optimize our websites and the efforts that go into building and nurturing our email list.

For those of you who might have it in your head that email marketing is dead, I’ll respectfully counter with this stat: 72% of consumers say that email is their favorite form of communication with the brands they do business with.

2. Build relationships instead of likes.

One of my core business beliefs and values is that it’s all about connection and building authentic relationships. The more we connect and serve, the more our businesses grow.

I don’t have a fancy stat on this for you, but I’ve experienced a direct correlation between relationship, connection, serving, and business growth.

Annoyed as some of us may be at the Facebook changes, if we take a closer look, their intention supports relationship building. It reinforces and reminds us to maintain this focus. I see this as a free business tip for all of us from Facebook that says, “Step up your connection game and find ways to engage more.”

3. It’s not personal. It's business.

Because social media is fun and well, social, it can be easy to forget that social media is run by some pretty smart and successful business owners. Which means, they need and want to generate revenue.

This reminder helps me put it all in perspective.

Think about it, if your business made money based on the amount of time people spent on your site and engaged with it...and people were complaining, what would you do? You’d probably think of ways to keep people happy, on your site longer, and in a more engaged way.

Facebook is running a business. Like you and me. We don’t like it because we’ve gotten used to the free handouts. But, how do we feel about the people who want our services and products for free??

Yes, there is a 'pay to play' aspect to Facebook, but getting pissed about that seems a little backward.

Social media platforms give us an opportunity to advertise and get in front of audiences in ways that would never have been available to most of us otherwise. 

When we look at social media through the lens of business, we’re also able to see what might help us use the platforms a little better.

Instead of trying to ‘game’ the system by trying to buy likes, followers, or using click bait, if we think about what might help the platform perform and make money it becomes a symbiotic relationship.

4. Embrace the platform.

So many of us are trying to make social media platforms bend to our will instead of looking to them and using them the way they’re meant to be used. 

If we take a step back from our ‘what can you do for me’ mentality, we can start to notice clues. Clues like new features.

These are the breadcrumbs that lead us to how to get the most out of a platform. 

For example, Instagram recently made a change where the ‘comment’ tab automatically pops up if you hover over a post for a few seconds. This is a clue that Instagram wants us to engage by commenting. 

5. Groups seem to be getting a bump on Facebook.

I’m basing this on my own group and the sudden surge of group posts I'm seeing in my feed. It seems Facebook groups are getting a slight bump with the algorithm changes. Which makes sense. Groups encourage the connection Zuckerberg mentioned. 

Groups aren’t right for every business, but if you’ve been thinking about starting a group, it might be a good time to dip your toes in. If you already have a group, it might be an opportune time to give your group a little more TLC.

6. Go Live.

Zuckerberg mentioned, “We've seen people interact way more around live videos than regular ones.” So, just a guess, but live video, particularly live video that encourages interaction instead of the “passive” experience are going to get some preference. 

This makes business sense for Facebook. Live videos encourage engagement and people to stay on the platforms longer. More time engaged versus passively scrolling means they can generate more ad revenue. 

Again, let’s not try to ‘game’ the system. Instead, embrace live videos for their ability to help us build those real relationships, serve in more meaningful ways, and get valuable feedback. 

I’m far from having all the social media answers, and this may all change again in a few months; I do think this is an opportunity for all of us to check out attitude and refocus our attention on a few of the core business building blocks that aren’t going anywhere anytime soon: relationship building, providing value, and connection.  

The platforms may change, the strategies might evolve, but the human need to connect isn’t going anywhere.

People will always have problems they need solved. People will always crave connection and relationship, after all, we’re wired that way. The more we can keep that front and center, the more we can avoid the freakout.

Oh, and don’t ignore your email list. Seriously. That’s one thing my crystal ball does show.

Wishing you your version of success,

Kim Argetsinger business coach

P.S. I'm bringing this full circle and going Live in my Facebook Group, Business Besties + Creative Bosses, today (Friday, Jan. 26th) at 12 pm EST. I'd love to have you! Click here to join for free.